Monday, August 03, 2009

Thoughts from a wedding on Saturday

If you're getting married in August in a church that lacks air conditioning, please spare your guests the full Mass. I appreciate your devotion to your faith, but it wasn't necessary to keep us there sweating through Communion.

The pink tutu dress paired with the stripper-esque heels was an unforgettable combination for one guest. Sadly, I don't mean unforgettable in a good way.

I should have eaten more of the hors d'oeuvres, because the main meal was damn near inedible. When someone at the table orders prime rib and gets the butt of the rib, you know you're not eating at a high-quality catering hall. And the less said about the underdone potatoes and the stuffed shrimp, the better.

I like weddings that have the bride-and-her-father and groom-and-his-mother dances right away, along with the speeches and toasts. This was not one of those weddings. One man at our table said what we were all thinking when the band asked the father of the bride to come up for the dance: "Oh for God's sake, cut the cake already! We want to go home!"

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