The Best of Dan Dierdorfisms
Monday Night Football
Listed in order of occurrence through the season
- "That was a three-yard pass. That is how far the ball went in the air."
- "There's a guy who had some Dr. Al's elixir at halftime."
- "That's as good as ugly can be."
- "That guy is a football player."
- "A good attribute for any linebacker to have is a moderate measure of insanity."
- "It takes a lot more than that to injure Carl Banks. That thing's got to be dangling to keep Carl Banks out of the game."
- "Irving Fryar used to play for New England, and now he's catching passes from Dan Marino. Irving Fryar must pinch himself everyday."
- "I'd like to have a neurologist examine Dan Marino, because he must have different nerve endings."
- "When you're a special teams maven like [Steve Tasker] is, you're a couple bubbles off center."
- "I am proud to study at the feet of the master."
- "Those guys are gonna go back to the sidelines and feel really inadequate."
- "That's an odd-looking ball."
- "All great quarterbacks feel what they can't see."
- "We had a shot that showed pretty graphically that his finger was dislocated and we feel the need to pass that on to America."
- "We're talking about one of the most beautiful spectacles in nature . . . and I don't mean my golf swing."
- "I think Favre need to go sit on the bench, cross his legs, and take a few deep breaths. He's looking a bit stressed."
- "There's 'Achy Breaky Hearts,' Al, but with these guys, it's achy breaky knees, arms, and so on."
- "I don't know what's worse -- him doing it or me talking about it."
- "This is a game played by tough people."
- "We've seen Neil O'Donnell be nifty back there."
- "Steve Young's cocktail frank is in for a match tonight."
- "There's not an offense in the NFL that uses its tight end like the '49ers."
- "O go, you Husker, go." (referring to Tom Rathman, Nebraska graduate)
- "To say that 2:47 is enough for this opportunistic '49er offense to score a touchdown . . .[long pause] doesn't have to be said."
- "Whoa, this is surgery without anesthetic."
And a few extras from Dan's co-hosts:
From Al Michaels: "If you had the sound down, Dan's gonna come over and slap you."
From Frank Gifford: On Michael Jordan: "What a great tight end he'd make."
Many thanks to all who assisted in collecting these fine words of wisdom throughout the season. Your efforts are greatly appreciated.