Monday, April 25, 2005

Possibly the worst song ever written about New York

Gothamist covers a newly written song by the guy who wrote Jeckyll and Hyde and Dracula: The Musical, intended to promote New York to foreign tour operators and spotlight lesser-known NYC locations. But the words are so awful, I can't imagine what the song sounds like but I'm sure it won't do much to convince people to come here. Check the link for all the lyrics, but my favorite lines are part of the third stanza:

Take the ferry to Staten from lower Manhattan. It's a bagel and schmear, it's a whole other gear.
It's a hot dog from Coney, a waiter named Tony. Yellow cabs, limousines. It's the subway to Queens.

I'm already opposed to the use of the word "schmear" to mean "something that goes on your bagel;" the actual definition is "a batch of things that go together." Rhyming "schmear" with "gear" is just sloppy. And "a waiter named Tony?" What the hell is that? I didn't know that only in New York can you find a guy named Tony waiting tables, or that Europeans want to come here to meet Tony while he takes your dinner order.

Actually, I think I do need to hear the music. I won't get the full concept of how terrible this song is until I can hear it as the composer intended.

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