Coping with the Steelers' loss

While I didn't show it last night, the Steelers losing yet another AFC championship game has me in a bit of a funk today. I'm coping by getting through the aftermath as quickly as possible. I've read all the stories in today's Pittsburgh Post-Gazette, most of ESPN's coverage, and I'll skim if not avoid entirely the Sports Guy's inevitable gloating. I'm also wallowing in a little self-pity by listening to Mozart's Requiem, my old salve for breakups, deaths, and now football playoff disappointment. If I don't feel sad enough, hearing his "Lachrymosa" always makes me feel like crying.

All season long it was hard for me to believe that my team was putting up a 15-1 record, the first AFC team to do that. That's just not something the Steelers do. Even their Steel Curtain teams in the 1970s managed to lose at least two games a season, even en route to the Super Bowl. Last night I said I didn't think the Steelers were ever a dominant 15-1 football team, but James argued that if you go 15-1, you're dominating. I just never got the sense that the team was out there crushing their opponents. They took advantage of mistakes, covered up their own weaknesses as long as possible, and never suffered any key injuries. That kind of season is difficult, if not impossible, to put together again. Next season they won't be overlooked by anyone, least of all the NFL schedule-makers. This year they had the benefit of a schedule that came out of their 6-10 record in 2003. Next year, they're going to have a much tougher schedule to contend with, along with trying to avoid injuries and the added pressure that will inevitably come from within and without to get to the Super Bowl.

Then there's Ben Roethlisberger. As a Steelers fan, I've suffered through so many crappy or mediocre quarterbacks since Terry Bradshaw retired: Cliff Stoudt, Mark Malone, Bubby Brister, Neil O'Donnell, Mike Tomczak, Kordell Stewart, and Tommy Maddox. In 2002 I wrote that Maddox was the first quarterback in years who didn't make my heart stop every time he threw the ball. Then in 2003 he proved to be just as crappy as the rest of the guys who preceded him. So far, Roethlisberger has been a major improvement over those other guys, but he had a great offensive line and two excellent running backs to take the pressure off him this year. In the past few games, when he had to throw the ball, he didn't remind anyone of John Elway. Whether it was an injury, improved defenses, or just rookie jitters, he looked lost out there at times. That's to be expected of a rookie, although I wish he'd played like that back in September and October and possibly gotten it out of his system. I'm reminded of Kordell Stewart's 1997 season, when he led the Steelers to the AFC championship against Denver (where he threw a few costly interceptions and the Steelers lost). Stewart established himself as a full-time quarterback that season, and in the offseason took full advantage of his newfound fame. He showed up in all sorts of ads. I can see Roethlisberger doing the same thing this offseason. He already appeared in a Campbell's Chunky Soup ad that ran DURING the AFC championship. I can't blame him if he cashes in, but I hope he doesn't do it at the expense of his offseason training. Kordell Stewart came back in 1998 and did not play as well; the team went 7-9 and missed the playoffs. Stewart endured all manner of boos and taunts from Steelers fans for the next three years, and only his and the team's resurgence in 2001 helped quiet them. That's another thing: Steelers fans are notorious boo-birds when the team's play goes south, and they will not hesitate to let Big Ben hear it if he keeps throwing interceptions. (For a good laugh, read some of the e-mails to the Post-Gazette. Along with the cheerful "we had a great run" messages, there's a healthy dose of "Fire Cowher!" and "play Tommy Maddox instead!" e-mails. I'd argue about the intelligence of those writers, but it's just not worth the energy.) I hope Roethlisberger spends more time in the offseason staying in shape, learning the playbook, and working with the coordinators and coaches to get more comfortable with the offense. I don't think John Elway was John Elway his first year out there.

Aside from the Super Bowl, which I will still watch, football season is over. In the absence of hockey, it's time to get into college basketball. Georgetown had a great last-second dunk to beat Notre Dame yesterday, and Mississippi State is still playing well in the SEC. Baseball season is not far off, and the Pirates are likely to contend for at least the first month or so. And then we have the NFL draft and another football season in less than nine months. But for now, on the most depressing day of the year, I'll just be sad.

ESPN.com on Mike Webster

Starting today, ESPN.com is running a five-part series on the life and death of Mike Webster, the great Pittsburgh Steelers center from 1974-1990. It's a tragic story, and it doesn't help that ESPN.com is starting its run on the day after the Steelers' loss in the AFC championship game. Mike Webster gave everything he had to football, and it left him a shell of a man. Inside the NFL ran their own segment on Webster a few weeks ago, and it was touching and incredibly sad. ESPN's version is just as moving.

BLIZZARD 2005!!!!!

That's what the local NBC news is calling the current snowstorm hitting us in the beanbag here in New York. I went out early this afternoon just as the snow started, and it wasn't too cold or too nasty at that point. Twelve hours later, the snow looks deeper and there are far fewer people on the streets, and not just because of the late hour. I'm thinking about going for a little exploratory walk tomorrow morning, but I think I'll just make a pot of coffee and enjoy "Meet the Press" instead.

So, instead of going out to dinner or a movie, Liz and I stayed in all day and watched "I Love the '90s, Part Deux" on VH1. For dinner, I wanted to cook big, so I made fried chicken, mashed potatoes, biscuits, and gravy. I was a little apprehensive about my first attempt at fried chicken, and warned Liz that it wasn't going to be the best she'd ever had. While she agreed that it wasn't the best ever, it was much better than we thought it would be. In fact, it was downright delicious. I made a huge mess of the kitchen cooking it, and it was fun. Tomorrow's game day meal is two-crust pizza, a dish that I've only made parts of (everything but the dough). Assuming he gets here with the weather being what it is, James will assist me with the cooking tomorrow, so I'm sure we'll make another mess. If you don't make a mess while you're cooking, you're not doing it right.

New Orleans photos are now online

It's been almost a month, so that seems like enough time to wait before uploading pictures from a New Year's Eve trip. Check the photos link over there on the right side.

a weekend with Mom in NY, and an extra special evening with the NY Philharmonic

My mother came to visit us this past weekend. Since it was the coldest week of the year so far, we tried to stick to indoor activities. On Saturday we watched the Steelers-Jets game at home, then went out to dinner in our neighborhood. We took her to the recently reopened MoMA in midtown Manhattan on Sunday afternoon, then ate dagwood sandwiches for dinner while watching the Golden Globes. On Monday we went to the Museum of the City of New York to see the subway photo exhibits, then met one of her friends for lunch and a stroll along Broadway to Zabar's. I made mostaccioli with mozzarella and basil for dinner, a recipe from my Lidia Bastianich cookbook.

Tuesday night was the real highlight of her visit. We went to the New York Philharmonic to hear Phil Myers, the orchestra's principal French horn, play Strauss's 1st Horn Concerto. My parents went to college with Myers, and when I was growing up my mom would point him out in the NY Phil's horn section anytime we saw the orchestra on TV. I don't know the right words to describe his performance. When he played the opening horn call of the work, the sound just soared through the hall. My mom and I looked at each other as if to say "if this is how he plays the beginning, how great will the entire piece be?" We were not disappointed. He made that horn sound like it was singing. It was just a fantastic, beautiful display of artistry. The rest of the concert was good, too, but the horn concerto was by far the best part. At intermission we went to the green room and introduced ourselves to Myers (or in my mother's case, got reacquainted). He signed our programs and mentioned that he's currently working on one of my grandfather's compositions. There was a growing crowd of people eager to talk to him so we only stayed for a few minutes. But I had the chance to tell him that I'd seen him on TV and in concerts for years, and that it was an honor to meet him in person. Things like that don't happen to me that often, and it made the evening even more rewarding.

Rate your teachers

Today's Black List over at The Black Table has a submission about RateMyTeachers, a web site where visitors can rate and comment on elementary, middle, and high school teachers. Of course I couldn't resist looking up my old high school to see how my former educators ranked. Since it's been several years since I graduated high school, there are only a handful of teachers remaining from my days as a student. Even assuming that some ratings are malicious (from students or former students who had an axe to grind) I'm glad to see that most of my teachers received favorable ratings from other students. Interestingly, even the ones that I remember as tough and unpleasant got good reviews, possibly from alumni like me who look back on those classes and realize that we learned more and achieved more in those classes than in others with teachers we considered to be "easy." Not surprisingly, the teachers who were popular with students back then are still popular now, judging from their high ratings. On a sad note, one of the most highly-rated teachers is Mr. Rudnac, who passed away from a sudden heart attack a few years ago. I never took a class with him and I regret it now, as I had the free time in my schedule and knew then how much his students loved his classes, his attitude, and his skills as an educator. It's touching to see how many people miss him.

Regarding the Steelers...

I haven't written much about the Steelers this season. I still can't believe that they went 15-1 and while it was happening I didn't want to think too much about how they were doing it or what it could mean. I'm excited to see them in the playoffs again, but I'm trying to keep my enthusiasm down. They've disappointed fans in the past, and team's recent playoff record with home field advantage isn't stellar. I think they can get past the Jets tomorrow, though it won't be easy. I don't even want to think about their chances against either the Colts or the Patriots should Pittsburgh get to the AFC championship. All I know is that I will be a bundle of nerves tomorrow while watching the game.

Happy now, Jon? I wrote about something other than my new bag. Wait until I write about our new furniture.

Papa's got a brand new bag

It's gotten so dull around here that I'm writing about the new messenger-style laptop bag I bought Monday night at J&R Computer World. Since I've been at my current job and carrying my office laptop back and forth each day, I've used a succession of free laptop bags and backpacks provided either by my firm or acquired at Novell BrainShare conferences. My favorite bag until now was my BS 2002 backpack, which I used until I tore a hole in the bottom and the straps started to give. I abandoned it in Salt Lake City when I brought back the BS 2004 bag, the wheeled laptop bag that would be perfect for everyday use if I didn't have to carry it up and down stairs on the subway. Instead, I had been using a Kensington laptop bag from my firm for about 18 months, which was great for carrying the computer and any accessories, but not so good for holding my lunch, a book, extra toys like my MP3 player, and so on. I'd been looking off and on for the perfect laptop bag for a few months now. My ideal bag would be large enough to hold my computer, lunch, a book, and a few other toys, yet still look decent on a 31-year-old guy (I'm too old to wear a backpack unless I'm hiking). I read some online reviews of laptop bags, but I needed to see them in person to make the right choice. I had a gift certificate for J&R with a few bucks left on it, and I noticed the Crumpler bags in the store a few weeks ago. I checked out their web site, read some reviews, and stopped at J&R Monday night to pick one up. I got the Very Busy Man (tm) bag, which has room for all my stuff and more, and is far more comfortable to carry than my old bag. It also feels virtually indestructible, but we'll see if it can withstand cat assaults. It even has an extra strap hanging off the shoulder strap that goes around your leg if you want to ride your bike while carrying the bag. Tomorrow I'll try fitting The System of the World in there along with everything else and see if I collapse.

Here's a low-res picture of the bag at the office, packed and ready to go home:

Our trip to New Orleans

As promised, here's the recap of our New Year's weekend trip to New Orleans. It's long, so you might want to get some coffee or a snack first.

Thursday

We left New York before dawn so we would have a full day to spend in New Orleans, so we arrived late Thursday morning. After checking into our hotel and finding our way around the French Quarter, we made our first stop: Central Grocery for a muffaletta. It's an Italian grocery that serves delicious muffaletta sandwiches to go. They make the sandwiches a day early and stack them behind the counter for quick access for hungry customers. Since there are only a few seats in the store, we took our sandwich over to the riverbank a block away to eat and people watch. The sandwich was almost 12" across and filled with ham, cheese, olive relish and fatty goodness. We split it and were comfortably full for an afternoon of sightseeing in the French Quarter. In the afternoon we had our first experience at Cafe du Monde, where we enjoyed coffee flavored with chicory and beignets covered in powdered sugar. Cafe du Monde is a huge outdoor cafe that was perpetually crowded with tourists. There was always a line, but it's misleading: if you could find an empty table, you could just bypass the line of unknowing tourists. The coffee is strong and the beignets are heavenly, and I can't think of a better breakfast or midafternoon snack. We went back to the hotel for a quick nap, then out to Acme Oyster House for po' boy sandwiches for dinner. Liz had a soft-shell crab sandwich, while I enjoyed fried shrimp on one half and fried catfish on the other half of my sandwich, and we split some red beans & rice. I tried some raw oysters as an appetizer, and they were tasty too. We wandered down Bourbon Street to Jean Laffite's Blacksmith Shop, which is actually a bar, and had a couple of voodoo daiquiris and soaked up the atmosphere of a bar that is still completely candlelit and dank. Rounding out our evening with some music, we caught the last set of the house jazz band at Preservation Hall. The hall is really just a large room with no seats, drinks, or other amenities. A sign behind the band lists $2 for requests, $5 for obscure requests, and $10 for "[Oh When] The Saints [Go Marching In]" saying that if they asked for less, the band would be playing it all night. The band played three songs and closed with "Saints," opting to play it for free.

Friday

We woke up late on Friday morning and took the St. Charles streetcar to the Garden District for a walking tour of the neighborhood. The Garden District is where Anne Rice used to live (she just moved out to a gated community) and where the wealthy Americans built their houses back when the city was still developing. We toured a cemetery and learned all about the peculiar burial habits of New Orleans (swampy ground means most people are buried in above-ground tombs instead of six feet under) and saw many beautiful old houses. Aside from Anne Rice's old house, we also saw where Archie Manning, Trent Reznor, and Ella Brennan (matriarch of the Brennan restaurant clan) live. Since we'd missed lunch, back in the Quarter we stopped at Napoleon House for a snack of Boudin sausage and a cheese board. We didn't want to fill up too much, as we had reservations at Commander's Palace at 8.

Commander's Palace is one of the top restaurants in the U.S., not just in New Orleans, and we were lucky to get a reservation there on New Year's Eve. Emeril Lagasse used to work there, as did Paul Prudhomme before him. The restaurant was festooned with balloons and banners, and the tables were adorned with streamers, poppers, bubbles, and party favors. And the food! This meal was one of the top five restaurant meals of my lifetime: turtle soup with sherry, veal chops with goat cheese grits, and bread pudding souffle for dessert. Liz had the best lobster bisque we've ever tasted, and a fantastic steak. We were done before 10 PM, so rather than stick around for the midnight toast, we went back to the Quarter to check out the celebration. Jackson Square was filling up with people, so we walked up to Bourbon Street to see how busy things were there. It was as rowdy as I expected, so we got some drinks and walked back to Jackson Square around 11:30. There we got caught in the crush of the now-massive throng, and we couldn't get to a place where we could watch the local ball drop. So we took shelter under a balcony in front of a bar and watched TV through the windows and listened to the noise. After midnight things eased up a bit, so we followed everyone back up to Bourbon. By now the street was really busy, and it was tough just to get out of the way. We quickly learned that staying in one place meant that we were accosted by drunks, especially since we were still dressed up from dinner. So we found a club where we could hang out, sit down, and avoid the mob for a few hours. Bourbon Street was still wild at 3 AM when we went back to our hotel.

Saturday

We woke even later on New Year's Day. Our brunch reservation at Brennan's wasn't until 1 PM, so we had plenty of time to recuperate from our minor hangovers and find our way to the restaurant. Brennan's is another New Orleans institution, known as the birthplace of bananas foster. Again, we had an outstanding dining experience: I had oyster soup, eggs hussarde, and the aforementioned bananas foster. Liz had shrimp sardou, which was fried shrimp and creamed spinach, and crepes with strawberries. Since it was a holiday, none of the tourist sights we wanted to visit were open, so we walked around the Quarter and stopped at the Nokia Fan Fest tent to check out new cell phones and pick up freebies. I got a Sugar Bowl "koozie" which was a foam pouch to hold a water (or beer) bottle and attach it to your belt. (Too bad the New Orleans open-container laws don't let you take glass bottles out of the bars, or else I could have been all cool and stylin' with my beer bottle hanging off my belt.) Later that night we went to the Funky Pirate blues bar to hear Big Al Carson and his band. Big Al is nearly 500 pounds, and he's not shy about his weight or anything else. Let's just say he worked blue. Really blue. The between-song banter was quite raunchy. Around midnight we'd had enough blues (music and jokes) and had become afraid that the sixtyish woman wearing a belly shirt and a navel ring was going to take off the shirt entirely and show us what was left of her bosom. We went down the street to the Clover Grill, a 24-hour diner that, according to the marquee, served the best burgers in town, . At that hour anything would have tasted great, and the burgers were excellent. I can't remember the last time I ate a huge meal like that after midnight.

Sunday

On Sunday morning we once again slept late and went out in search of breakfast before our scheduled afternoon of museums. Finding breakfast in short supply, we opted for an early lunch of jambalaya at Tujague's, a 150-year-old institution that serves a prix-fixe menu every day. Our first tourist stop was the Degas House on Esplanade Avenue. Edgar Degas lived with his American cousins for several months in 1872 and painted some of his works there, including Portraits in a New Orleans Cotton office. The house is actually two buildings now, as it was split in the last century into two houses and both were used for various purposes. In addition to a museum, one house is also a bed & breakfast, although a little too far away from the French Quarter to make it a realistic place for the casual tourist to stay. We also went to the Cabildo, which has served the governments of New Orleans and Louisiana in various capacities over the past 200 years. It was the location of the signing of the Louisiana Purchase and the seat of the state Supreme Court for many years. Now it's a museum. Among their exhibits is one of the four original death masks of Napoleon. It was an interesting museum but the displays were far too detailed for even the two hours we spent reading them.

Sunday's dinner was at Dominique's, yet another gourmet restaurant on our gastronomical tour of the city. The dishes here were the most creative that we'd eaten so far. I had a salmon and caviar appetizer and a main course of three different kinds of lamb: a lamb chop, merguez sausage, and some kind of lamb-potatoes-goat cheese thing that was delicious. Liz had a goat cheese pastry appetizer and a cracked conch entree. For dessert the restaurant brought us green apple cotton candy along with our chocolate souffle and cappamisu (tiramisu but with cappucino). For our last authentic New Orleans musical experience, we went to Fritzel's for more jazz, this time from Ryan Burrage and his band. Burrage played the clarinet, an older gentleman played the soprano sax, and two other guys on piano and drums. The soprano sax player repaired a lot of the damage Kenny G has done to the instrument's reputation over the years.

Throughout our vacation, we had to endure the rowdiness of Auburn and Virginia Tech fans along with the usual people one would expect to find in New Orleans on a holiday weekend. The number of football fans grew as the weekend went on, leading up to Monday night's Sugar Bowl, so each day there were more people in orange clothes stumbling around Bourbon Street and yelling at each other, either about the Hokies or "War Eagle" (which is either the old Auburn mascot or the fight song, I'm not sure which - nor do I care). Apparently if you're attending a bowl game, you're required to wear every single piece of clothing with your school's logo or colors on it all the time. To be fair, despite all the alcohol and competitiveness, everyone was polite, and we didn't see any unpleasant arguments or fights between fans from the two schools.

Bourbon Street is clearly the place to be in the French Quarter: all the great jazz, blues, and zydeco clubs are there or just around the corner, and most of the good bars and restaurants are in a five- or six-block stretch. But with the city's open container policy (anything in a plastic cup is OK), the constant stream of people, and the smell, it reminded me of block parties at Georgetown. Walking along Bourbon sampling music from the clubs and watching people go by was fun for a while, but by the second day and New Year's Eve it became too much to endure. We found ways to avoid the busiest sections of the street even during the day. If I were ten years younger, I would have absolutely loved it. But now that I'm an adult who doesn't like to drink eight hours a day, I had more fun sitting in the jazz clubs and relaxing than I did getting shoved by drunks. And the rules of public nudity applied to Bourbon Street as they did in Jamaica: the people you want to see showing off their chests for beads are never the ones who do. It's always the ones you'd prefer would keep their breasts covered that whip them out.

Monday

Monday was our last day in the city, so we spent it shopping for last-minute souvenirs and enjoying one last meal before our flight. We went to Johnny's Po' Boys for lunch, where Liz got the french fry sandwich and I had one with beef, sausage, and cheese. We took a short walk to burn off some of the calories, and stopped to listen to Mountain Sprout, a bluegrass band that played outside the A&P on Royal Street several times while we were there. We liked them so much we bought one of their albums. They looked like a bunch of hillbillies (the hound dogs laying at their feet helped with that image) but sounded like a professional touring band. By 2 PM we'd had enough of the football fans, the food, and walking, and we left for the airport. We brought back a can of Cafe du Monde coffee, some pralines for co-workers, and an increased risk of heart disease. But we had a great time, and would love to go back sometime. Just not at New Year's or Mardi Gras.

New Orleans trip review is coming...

I'm still writing up a recap of our New Year's Eve weekend in New Orleans. It will be a long post, but hopefully one that you, my few faithful readers, will enjoy. I should have it posted by this evening.

Pillagers Win!

NEW YORK -- The Yorkville Pillagers won the 2004 championship of the Five Guys From A House fantasy football league last night. Led by Peyton Manning, the scrappy squad of running backs-by-committee and free agent wide receiver pickups defeated the 49sters by a final score of 88.03-86.61. Going into the playoffs, Yorkville had a four-game winning streak. A 10-4 regular-season record gave the Pillagers the second seed, and in their first playoff game they defeated the Voracious Vegans 86-74 with big days from Detroit WR Roy Williams and Oakland WR Jerry Porter. In the championship game, Brett Favre's 3 touchdowns and 385 yards passing staked the 49sters to an early 31-point lead, but the Pillagers stormed back with 18 points from Steve Christie and a late 20 points from Manning. New England WR Deion Branch and Buffalo rookie Shaud Williams added 11.6 and 10.6 points, respectively. But the outcome of the game was in doubt until the announcement Monday evening that 49sters and Philadelphia RB Brian Westbrook was inactive for the Monday night game vs. St. Louis. Without the opportunity to pick up any more points from Westbrook, the game was over for the 49sters and the Pillagers' victory, though narrow, was assured. The win set off a minor celebration of cheering and dancing at the team's headquarters on Manhattan's Upper East Side. This is the first championship in the team's three-year history. The Pillagers played their first season in Greenwich Village before moving to Yorkville in 2003.

I've been playing fantasy football for three years, and I didn't ever expect to win a title, let alone in my third year. I have Peyton Manning and his touchdown-filled season to thank for my success; without him, I'd have been relegated to another middling finish out of the playoff hunt. I really enjoyed this season, and not just because I won the whole thing. In past years I micromanaged my teams all year: scouring many websites for advice and player rankings, looking for any edge I could find, trading players with fellow league owners out of desperation. This year I only made a few trades and kept most of my players all season. I only micromanaged the team in the playoffs when it really mattered. Since we don't run a "keepers" league, I won't know until next season's draft whether I get Manning again, and even if I do, there's no guarantee that he'll have as good a season as he had this year. In any case, I need to do a better job of acquiring top-tier running backs; without one, I had to rely on Manning for the bulk of my points and hope that my committee RBs and WRs could make up the rest. The strategy worked this year, but in past years it's been a struggle. But right now I'm going to sit back and enjoy the championship.

[Cue Queen's "We Are The Champions"]

New pictures of Hunter are available

I just uploaded some pictures we took last Wednesday of Todd, Kitten, and Hunter, just before their move to Pittsburgh. I'm especially fond of the last one, where I'm holding Hunter and he looks scared to death that I'm either going to run off with him or drop him. Just hit up the photos link on the right side of the page. You know the one.

Best birthday ever? Could be

Ten years ago, on December 20, 1994, I had what might have been my worst birthday ever. I was a junior at Georgetown, finished with finals, just hanging around campus waiting to go home for the holidays. I was in a terrible frame of mind due to a bad breakup a few weeks earlier. I spent part of the day in my living room, making a mix tape of bitter, angry songs that expressed my thoughts on love at the time (it sucks!) and kept me in a foul mood. Liz (who was not my girlfriend yet) had planned to spend the evening bar hopping with me, but her parents had arrived that day to take her back to Starkville so the four of us just had dinner before they left later that night. Instead of spending my 21st birthday enjoying a drink at a bar with my friends, I bought a six-pack at a deli, drank it at home with a friend, then tried to get into a strip club. The club would have let me in, but my friend had no ID, so we went to 7-11 and then back home. If that wasn't my worst birthday ever, it's in the top three. The other chief contender is the one when I was a kid and my mom got me a Snoopy trash can for a birthday present.

Today was a much better birthday than 10 years ago. I took the day off, woke up at my usual time and enjoyed my usual morning shows over a leisurely breakfast. I spent the late morning watching some of the special features on my Return of the King EE DVD, including the documentaries on the music, the horses, and Cameron Duncan, a young New Zealand filmmaker who spent time with the cast and crew of the films while dying of cancer. Getting those out of the way leaves only five hours or so of other features to watch (not to mention the hours of extras that I haven't yet watched on the first two EE DVDs, or the four commentary tracks for each film).

After lunch I moved into the office and watched the entire extended edition of ROTK on my computer, so as not to compromise the picture resolution by watching it on my crappy old TV. I took a short break between the two discs to run out for coffee and groceries, but otherwise spent about four hours sitting in a darkened office, wearing headphones for top-quality sound, enjoying the Best Picture of 2004. As ROTK was the best of the trilogy, I think the ROTK EE is the best of the three extended editions. The added material is as seamless as it could be, and I have only the slightest complaints about the way one or two scenes were incorporated. Most of the time I couldn't even remember what I'd seen in the theater and what I was watching for the first time this afternoon. And it never fails: I got misty-eyed just before the Ride of the Rohirrim and at the end when all of Gondor bows to the four hobbits.

I've decided that when I finally get a widescreen, high-definition TV and surround sound audio system, I will inaugurate my new home theater system with a day-long screening of the entire extended edition Lord of the Rings trilogy. I figure I'll need about 14 hours for the whole megillah, factoring in bathroom and snack breaks. Maybe that will be how I celebrate my 35th birthday?

Friends moving away

We have been friends with Todd and Kitten (whose real name is Elizabeth but Liz and I know her by her nickname) for many years. I met Kitten when she came to Georgetown on her spring break from Oberlin to visit Liz, who has known her since middle school in Mississippi. Despite not knowing Kitten at all save for a blurry picture Liz kept in her dorm room, I had to pick her up at Union Station since Liz was at the opera when her train arrived. I met Todd a few years later when they had moved to New York for Kitten's graduate studies at Columbia and we came to NY on our spring break. We visited them here at least once a year before we moved here in 1999. Over the years, we have shared countless movies, plays (mostly off-off-off-Broadway), dinners, birthdays, holidays, and sad days. Liz acknowledges that their presence helped keep us here; without them, we might well have packed it in and moved elsewhere after a year. I could share many stories about good times with them, but there are too many worthy ones to include here. Suffice it to say that they are among our closest friends.

Good times can't last forever though (yet another corollary of the "we can't have fun every night" rule) and after the birth of their son Hunter this past May, they decided that it was time to move on. Todd found a great new job in Pittsburgh (which is much closer to his family in Ohio) and they're moving to the north side near PNC Park. We're sad to see them go, but it's a fantastic opportunity for them. We wish them the best of luck in their new surroundings.

And their move gives us a great reason to go to Pittsburgh next spring and take in a Pirates game.

Strange week

It's been a weird week for me. I've felt out of sorts for the past few days, like I'm coming down with something but without the physical effects of a cold or the flu. I'm not sick, so I'm going to blame external forces.

Monday night was my firm's annual holiday party, held once again in the conference rooms in our building. Liz and I worked it like a machine: first the raw bar room, then the Caribbean food, then the hot food in the cafeteria, then the cheese room, and finally dessert in the cafeteria again. I enjoyed it but for the first time didn't really mind leaving around 9 PM instead of sticking around later to see how drunk my co-workers could get. I must be getting older.

Tuesday saw the release of The Return of the King extended edition on DVD. As with the first two EEs, so far I've only watched bits and pieces of the movie and extras just to see what's there, but I'm impressed once again with what Peter Jackson and his team can do. I'll watch the whole 4+ hours no later than Monday, when I'm taking the day off for my birthday.

On Wednesday night, we had dinner with our friends Todd and Kitten and their son Hunter for the last time in New York. They are moving to Pittsburgh this afternoon. I think they deserve their own post, so more on them later.

Last night was the "Apprentice" finale. I don't pay much attention to the show, but Liz watches it, so I had to watch some of it, mostly the live half of last night's edition. It was just over-the-top ridiculous. I didn't know that many screaming Trump fans existed in New York. And how is it that all the women on both editions of the show could dress so awfully? No one, with the exception of Jen the finalist, had on anything acceptable. Amy from season 1 wore some kind of pink satin suit with fringes on the sleeves. Someone from this season had on a black jacket with gold trim. Jen C. from season 2 had on a pink pinstripe suit. And Omarosa wore what looked like a gray mens' tuxedo jacket with tails over a short skirt with her stomach partially exposed. Just terrible.

Finally, today I had to say my goodbyes to Todd, Kitten, and Hunter, and now I'm listening to Drake and Zeke's final show on Rock 103 in Memphis. I know it's strange that for the past six years I've spent my afternoons listening to the Internet broadcast of an afternoon drive-time show from Memphis, but these two guys have seen me through good times and bad and helped to liven up my day. I first discovered their show when I passed through Memphis on my way to Starkville in May 1998 to get married. When I got back to DC I started listening to their show over the Internet and it quickly became a regular part of my day. As a sometime e-mail contributor to their show I was first "Phil from DC" and later "Phil from New York." I have stopped co-workers in mid-sentence to listen to their "Bad Baby Name of the Day" feature. After 9/11 I e-mailed them to let them know I was OK, as I'd previously told them that I worked near the WTC. They made me laugh when I worked at a crappy job here in New York, indirectly keeping my spirits up. They aren't going away forever, just leaving Rock 103 for parts as yet unknown, possibly a morning show, and I'm hoping that they will pop up on the Internet again soon. My afternoons won't be the same without them.

"Liberry" blog makes the news in NZ

A New Zealand newspaper published an article about blogs a few weeks ago, and my friend Eric's "Tales from the 'Liberry'" blog made the sidebar under "International Blogs" alongside such luminaries as Talking Points Memo, Andrew Sullivan, and Wonkette. Congratulations, Eric!

A Tuba Christmas

On Sunday afternoon, between brunch with friends and the Steelers-Jets game, I went to Rockefeller Center for Tuba Christmas, an annual concert of Christmas carols performed by several hundred tubas and euphoniums (euphonia?). When I arrived at Rock Center at 3:15 PM, the crowd there to see the tree was already so large that I settled for a spot on 49th St. instead of in the plaza itself. I had a partially obscured view of the stage set up at one end of the ice rink, with a tree and giant toy soldier in my line of sight. But I was able to see row after row of Sousaphones file onto the stage, followed by many tubas and finally at least a hundred euphoniums on the ice rink itself. According to the emcee, who I could barely hear because of the speaker placement, the group had performers from as far away as Los Angeles and Germany, and ranged in ages from 10 to 80. They played for about 30-35 minutes, during which we heard many traditional carols and a few more classical pieces. My father had attended a Tuba Christmas at the Kennedy Center several years ago, and he told me at the time that it was the strangest thing to hear all those low instruments together. In most of the carol arrangements, the euphoniums played the melody while the tubas and Sousaphones harmonized. But I had to smile every time the tubas got the melody. I've never heard anything quite like all those tubas playing the melody of "Jingle Bells," just to cite one example. Despite the crush of the crowd and an icy wind in my face, I thoroughly enjoyed myself and am already looking forward to next year's concert.

I'm also preparing to announce my plans for "Viola Arbor Day."

my week in Microsoft training

I've been in a week-long training class in midtown Manhattan for Microsoft Active Directory. I didn't ask to go to training for AD; my boss signed me up for the class along with another Novell network analyst from our firm. All week, my colleague and I have joked/kidded/cursed from the back of the classroom at how everything Active Directory can do can be done quicker, easier, and better with Novell's eDirectory (formerly Novell Directory Services).

[GEEK TALK ALERT] Novell's directory system for network management came out about ten years ago, while AD debuted with Windows 2000 just four years ago. While Novell refined and expanded the scope of its product, Microsoft let its Windows NT domain system languish for years until they had no choice but to come up with a directory system of their own. For those of you who are not network techs, the basic problem with AD is that it is a massive hack to combine the administration of many systems into one big system. And it's far more complicated to deploy and maintain than a comparable management structure from Novell.

[RESUME NORMAL RANT] Aside from the class subject matter, I'm annoyed by plenty of other things this week. The instructor gets distracted and frequently veers off topic onto weird tangents. For example, on Wednesday he talked about the process of upgrading a Windows server from one version to another. He said that in terms of the power of the new OS versus the old, it was like when Bruce Banner became the Hulk. Then he asked why Bruce Banner didn't want to become the Hulk permanently, and I guess the class took up the topic. I went outside to check my e-mail (no Internet access in the classroom, more on that in a minute) and when I came back, the instructor was praising the "Blade" movie trilogy and proudly stating that his six-year-old son recites lines from the movies and has twice dressed up as the character for Halloween. He compared another aspect of the Microsoft networking system to changing planes when flying, and that led to a discussion of travel arrangements to Caribbean nations. It's not bad enough that most of the class material pertains to network problems that I will never see. I have to endure these oddball topics as well.

The other big problem with the training center (Learning Tree at the CBS Building on 52nd St.) is that the classrooms don't have any Internet access. I have been to four different training centers in Manhattan, run by four different companies. The previous three all had some form of Internet access, via the classroom computers or a wireless network for student laptops. I still have a job to do while I'm in training, and while classroom Internet access can be a major distraction, it has been invaluable for me to be able to manage my network and still participate in the class. Learning Tree has no Internet access in the classrooms and only a handful of Internet kiosks in the reception area, all of which are occupied during breaks. Thank God for my Blackberry, or I'd have a complete breakdown with no e-mail either. When I had to leave class early on Tuesday to go downtown to fix a problem at the office (incidentally, one that could not have been fixed remotely via a classroom Internet connection), I considered it a blessing. Learning Tree must have some kind of deal with my IT department, because lately all the training classes have been there. I'll have to find some other place for my next class, because I feel lost and scared without my precious Internet. Friday is the last day, and it will be shortened by a dentist appointment first thing in the morning and an early conclusion in the afternoon. By 4 PM I'll be surfing happily at home or at a Starbucks somewhere, glad to be away from AD hell.

iPods in school

Manhattan's private Brearley School has instituted an iPod requirement for its language classes. Since the school already uses Macs for classwork, it seems the iPod was the logical choice of hardware for the students to use. Still, like Gothamist, I got along OK with crappy cassette tapes and headphones in high school, and I think part of a language curriculum should be that you have to look like a dork while learning. On the other hand, most of these kids probably had iPods already, and the rest were able to get them at a discount or rent them from the school. I'm not a big iPod fan, but I am the happy owner of a competitor's hard-drive-based music player, and I think it's a good thing that portable hard drives are making inroads in education. First Duke University issues them to freshmen, and now this. I predict that within five years children will be issued 5 TB (terabyte=1000 gigabytes) hard-drive devices that will store music, movies, schoolwork, and a complete copy of their DNA for use in cloning purposes. I'm sure it will still be an iPod: let's face it: even I will admit that Apple, and not another company, will provide these devices for years to come.

I need to go home now. The paint fumes in this office are clearly affecting my judgment. Check back later tonight or tomorrow for a post on what I've been doing all week.

The Horns

The expression "throw up the horns" that I used the other day in reference to the VH1 metal countdown refers to this Penny-Arcade
comic from a few months back. And if you like that particular comic, during this holiday season you can show off your faith in both Jesus and Penny-Arcade by wearing the t-shirt.

I just felt like sharing.

"BroadCatching" is catching on

Engadget posted this How-To on using RSS ("really simple syndication") and BitTorrent to automatically download your favorite TV shows to your PC as a sort of ersatz TiVo. If you have a broadband connection and no TiVo or you have one but missed a particular show, you can set up your PC to look for these shows on various torrent web sites, then download the shows automatically in the background. It's not exactly like a TiVo or a true DVR: you can't pause live TV with this method, and you have to hope that someone else out there is a fan of your show and has gone to the trouble of saving it and making it available for others to download. And it's still unclear if it's entirely legal to do this -- some people argue that this method of sharing TV shows isn't any different than recording them to VHS and giving the tape to a friend. But according to this comment thread on Engadget and this one on PVRblog.com it's illegal in Canada to upload shows when you're not the rightsholder and Paramount is sending out cease & desist letters to broadband users who are sharing their programs, like Enterprise. I tend to think that "broadcatching" falls under the fair use rules the courts have allowed, but I'm sure today's lawyers and courts will see things differently. So try this at your own risk.

I haven't set up any automatic downloads of shows, since I do have a DVR, but I've downloaded a few odd episodes of shows that I forgot to record. And I can see one potential use: catching US TV shows when I'm traveling overseas. Anytime I go away for more than a few days, I come home to hours of TV on my DVR, and I have to catch up on those shows before I can watch the new ones. I don't like to get more than a week behind on any of my regular shows, so I feel pressured to watch all that TV all at once or in a big hurry. I'd love to have the ability to download my shows using my hotel's broadband connection and watch them instead of the outdated American shows you get overseas or, in the case of Tokyo, barely any English-language TV at all. I admit that I watch too much TV as it is, and when I'm traveling I'd rather explore the foreign city than sit in my room watching TV. But if I want to relax after a long workday, I'd much rather see a new episode of a familiar show than an old one of a show I never watch. Broadcatching gives me a DVR-like option when I'm on the road.

VH1's 40 Most Awesomely Bad Metal Songs

VH1 has been running a marathon of countdown shows all weekend, and I just watched their special on "awesomely bad" metal songs. While I disagreed with some of their choices (Guns N' Roses' "Estranged," Queensryche's "Silent Lucidity," and Whitesnake's "Here I Go Again" are excellent songs) most of the list made for inspired comedy. The message boards over at vh1.com are aflame with outraged metal fans upset that Riki Rachtman, the onetime host of MTV's "Headbangers Ball" rips on bands he used to ass-kiss every Saturday night and that most of the commentators don't have any musical qualifications, let alone heavy metal credibility. To which I say: so what? VH1 doesn't make these list shows or decade review shows to please fans of the music or the times. They make these shows because they're popular and funny. Making fun of these metal songs and videos is easy and well-deserved in most cases, and while I threw up the horns and rocked out to some of the music, I laughed my ass off for the entire show. If you watched Headbangers Ball back in the day you should absolutely catch this two-hour metal extravaganza when it reruns on Tuesday and Thursday next week. Now I need to listen to a little Metallica to cleanse my musical palate.

Hoopin' it up from the skybox

One of our vendors at work gave us tickets to a skybox at Madison Square Garden for tonight's Preseason NIT championship games. Liz had to work, so I was joined by our friend Todd and my boss, his wife, a few of his relatives and their friends, and the vendor's sales rep for an afternoon of basketball and free beer at the "World's Most Famous Arena." I'd never been in a skybox before, but I knew a little about what to expect. Even so, I was still impressed with the amenities and the service. MSG has a separate entrance for the skyboxes, so we didn't even have to go through security with the rest of the crowd. The suite had its own bathroom, several TVs (one providing the feed from the arena's video screen, the others with regular cable TV), a refrigerator filled with beer and sodas, and a spread of sandwiches, chicken wings, chips, pretzels, and cookies. The box was near the end of the court, so we looked almost directly over one basket and an excellent view of plays at the opposite end. We spent most of the first game talking instead of watching Michigan and Providence, but we thoroughly enjoyed the second game, the championship, matching Wake Forest against Arizona. I'm not sure if it was the holiday or football commitments but none of the four schools brought their pep bands, and only Arizona bothered to send any cheerleaders (four -- two guys and two girls). But there were more fans of the championship game schools than I expected, given that Wake Forest and Arizona are so far from New York. Throughout the game both sets of fans cheered back and forth as Arizona took an early lead and Wake clawed their way back. We were pulling for Wake Forest as my boss and his wife both have North Carolina roots, and though we wavered in our support during the first half, the team came back to take the lead for good with about 10 minutes left in the second half.

Watching a game from a skybox hasn't ruined me for sporting events the way that flying in business class spoiled me for coach, but it is great to have all the free food and drink you could want and no line for the bathroom. There's even a waiter who checks on you periodically and from whom you can order cocktails and more food. Liz had asked me if there would be shrimp, and while there wasn't any when we arrived I'm sure we could have ordered some. It occurred to me that skybox patrons never get the t-shirts, win the contests, or even appear on camera when they show fans in the stands. And with good reason: I can hardly imagine the overwhelming chorus of boos and howls of protest that would ensue if they announced that the person in skybox 1063 with ticket A5 had won a free dinner for two or whatever else they give away with those promotions. It would be like the "Simpsons" episode where Mr. Burns wins a car at a baseball game and the fans show their displeasure by throwing Marge's pretzels onto the field, injuring Whitey Ford. We also noticed that some of the other suites had more seats and possibly better amenities than we had. Next time Todd and I want the MSG suite equivalent to the "Ted Danson plane" that George insists on in the final episode of "Seinfeld." Why should we settle for any old skybox? We want the best they have to offer!

Starkville weekend wrapup

OK, it's a bit late for a weekend recap, but so what? It's my blog. You wanna make something of it? Why don't you come over here and tell me to my face? You throw that beer at me and I'm gonna go thermonuclear on your ass, beeyotch!

Sorry, I channeled Ron Artest and the Clemson-SC football teams for a minute. (And it wasn't funny.) Moving on to my review of our long weekend in Starkville, MS....

We left at the slightly more sane hour of 8 AM on Thursday morning. Typically, when flying out of town, we get the earliest flight available and leave our apartment before the sun is up in England. As predicted, we did in fact check e-mail and do a little web browsing from both LaGuardia and Memphis International Airport. At LaGuardia we stood at a high table outside a Starbucks kiosk and in Memphis we went to another terminal to the only Wi-Fi enabled gate in the airport. Not that there was any major news to track (other than the opening of Clinton's presidential library just across the border in Arkansas) but I was able to keep up with work and my other blogs for a few hours.

We got to Jackson, MS, in the middle of the afternoon where Liz's parents picked us up. We went straight to Corky's to meet Liz's aunt and uncle for an early dinner of pulled pork, brisket, sausage, onion loaf, baked beans, and slaw. That's what I ate, anyway. Corky's is a Memphis-based institution but they're expanding the business across the South, and I for one welcome our new barbeque overlords. After dinner we had a two-hour drive back to Starkville and an evening of “The Apprentice” on NBC. I haven't been watching the show all season and while I found this one episode interesting, it reminded me that I hate reality television and couldn't care less who stole which ad campaign ideas.

On Friday we met Liz's cousin for lunch at Harvey's (a Starkville institution) and I restrained myself by ordering the Tuscan chicken sandwich. Liz's cousin ordered the sandwich of the day: a country-fried steak on grilled sourdough with cheese, lettuce, and tomato. From just the one bite I had I must say it might have been one of the top five sandwiches I've ever tasted. I'm really tempted to try making this one at home, even though it would be but an echo of the glory that was the Harvey's lunchtime creation. I will need to find a good country-fried steak recipe for home use, though. Only for special occasions, of course.

We had dinner on Friday night at Gentry's, a new-ish restaurant just a few doors down from Harvey's. They have excellent steaks, one of which I enjoyed along with some grilled shrimp and their delicious brown bread covered with butter. For dessert we ordered their enormous chocolate cake and a smaller slice of coconut cake. It must have been fraternity or sorority formal night, because Gentry's was filled with well-groomed college students in tuxedos and evening dresses. Once again I was reminded that my college years are well behind me.

In case you hadn't noticed, food was a major aspect of the trip. It always is when we go to Starkville.

On Saturday, we went to the Mississippi State football game vs. Arkansas. Liz's parents have to arrive early to work in the president's box, so we went along early as well to check out the campus scene on game day. Right away we caught the Famous Maroon Band marching from a new amphitheater to the stadium, playing the school's fight song and leading the team to the locker room past cheering fans. We saw plenty of tailgaters (mostly in mobile homes or under makeshift tents instead of in parking lots), but none of them offered us any of their tasty barbeque treats. One group had set up a satellite dish and big-screen TV along with their grill and drinks. Now THAT'S tailgating! The student union and bookstore were busy with State fans loading up on school gear and cowbells. Just before we went into the stadium, we stopped by the MSU bakery for a scoop of homemade chocolate ice cream. Locally-produced foodstuffs is a benefit of a school with its own agriculture program.

About 45 minutes before kickoff we found our seats in Davis-Wade Stadium and got as comfortable as we could given the metal benches underneath us. One of the things I like best about college football is all the pageantry before games, most of which involves the band. The band took the field before the game and played the alma mater, the fight song, the national anthem, spelled out “MSU” and “STATE” to both sides of the field, and then lined up for the mascots and players to run out of the tunnel. Along with the usual guy in a bulldog suit, the school has a real bulldog trained to run out onto the field just before the team comes out. That bulldog was so excited, his trainer could barely hold him back. Throughout all of this activity, the crowd got louder and more anxious until the team came out and the fans went wild. Even pro teams don't get the support that home crowds give to their local college team. That kind of loyalty runs deep. From the way the fans cheered for the Bulldogs, you'd think they were playing for the national championship, instead of just playing out the string in a lousy season.

MSU jumped out to a 14-0 lead on Arkansas, but then the Razorbacks scored 17 unanswered points as they pushed the Bulldogs' defense all over the field. State had a great chance to score just before halftime, but questionable calls by the ref prevented them from getting a play off as the clock wound down. The Razorbacks kept converting third and fourth downs, and when a team does that, it's hard to keep them from scoring at will.

The halftime show was a tribute to America's armed forces. The MSU band played the fight songs for each branch of the military as a member of that branch presented the colors. They played more patriotic music as everyone in the crowd, Liz and I included, waved plastic American flags we were given as we had entered the stadium. I made several remarks about how we must be in a red state to get this kind of display, not that there was anything wrong with it. I don't have anything against our military, just its leadership in Washington, and I loved all the music. Thankfully,they didn't play an arrangement of Lee Greenwood's “God Bless the USA.”

In the second half, MSU again drove down the field, and lined up for a field goal which would have tied the game. But Arkansas blocked the attempt and one of their defenders ran the ball all the way back to make the score 24-14. Arkansas controlled the ball for the rest of the game, and though the Bulldogs did score again to get within three points, they couldn't overcome the mistakes on defense and lost 24-21. They played a tough game and except for a few bad calls and that one kick return might have pulled out a win. Their season finale is this Saturday against archrival Ole Miss in Oxford. Hopefully they can beat up on the Rebels and end the season on a positive note.

We consoled ourselves with a barbeque dinner at Little Dooey's (always mentioned on TV by the ESPN crew when they broadcast from Starkville, and if you were at our wedding you might remember they catered the picnic dinner) and a late showing of “The Incredibles.” The movie was a bit long but extremely funny. The illustrations of the hazards of capes were hysterical. We missed “Saturday Night Live” but caught nearly every replay of the Pistons-Pacers brawl and most of the commentary.

On Sunday we enjoyed a combination early Thanksgiving and early birthday dinner. We had chicken tenders, peas (green and black-eyed), fried okra, stuffing, deviled eggs, macaroni and cheese, and more chocolate cake for dessert. How many great meals can a person have in five days? All of them, apparently.

Yesterday we returned to New York, stopping first in Jackson for lunch at the Cracker Barrel. We will know when the red-staters have taken over the country when someone opens a Cracker Barrel franchise in Manhattan. Until then, Liz and I will have to enjoy their biscuits and gravy when we travel to more rural areas. We got back around 10:30 PM and our cats greeted us at the door. From their level of activity (wrestling, chasing each other around the place) you'd think no one came to see them while we were gone. I guess the cat sitter doesn't get the full performance.

One thing I learned this weekend: I am not yet a caffeine freak. It took me three days to realize that Liz's mother serves decaf coffee. I figured this out after I didn't get the shakes from my two cups in the morning. And because I snooped in the kitchen cabinets. Despite my non-caffeine-addled existence, I was able to function like a normal human being. Maybe it's the combination of coffee and work that makes me jittery. It's good to know that I can switch to decaf and still get along OK. And that when I'm in Starkville, Liz's grandmother drinks the “hi-test” so I can always stop by her house for a pick-up. She's 91, and if her constant caffeine consumption has anything to do with her longevity, I should be around for a long time too.

Going to Mississippi

Liz and I are off to Starkville for a few days to visit her family. We're going to hit all our favorite restaurants, cheer on the Mississippi State Bulldogs at the Arkansas game on Saturday, and celebrate our birthdays and Thanksgiving a little early. I love Mississippi, but I've decided that it's the least-connected state in the Union, after I tried six wi-fi hotspot search sites looking in vain for wireless Internet access in Starkville. There are a few places I can try, including a bagel cafe near our favorite BBQ joint, but even the university's wireless system requires a MSU login ID, which I do not have. Except for the time we spend waiting at the gate tomorrow and maybe one visit to this bagel place, I'll be disconnected for a few days. I will have my Blackberry with me, so I will have e-mail access, and I might try again to blog via e-mail. I can always go back to *shudder* dial-up, if I really need an Internet fix. I will have Neal Stephenson's The System of the World with me so I'll get some great reading done while I'm offline. Anyway, not that this is the world's most active blog, but things will be slow here until next week.

New bill before Senate would outlaw fast-forwarding through commercials

The lame-duck session of Congress has a nasty copyright bill under consideration that would make it illegal to fast-forward through the ads and previews on movie DVDs via hardware or software. So you don't have to worry about the cops busting down your door to break your remote's FFWD button...yet. But It's not much of a stretch to think that if this bill becomes law, sooner rather than later it will be illegal to fast-forward through commercials on your TiVo or DVR. Wired has a less-biased but still informative take on the story, and you can read all the gory details at publicknowledge.org. I don't usually send letters or faxes to my congressional representatives, but this might be a good time to take action. The publicknowledge site has a link to e-mail your rep. There is an excellent chance that if the bill passes its provisions will be tied up in lawsuits for years (like the various Internet indecency laws passed in the 1990s) but why let things get that far?

Al Reynolds had the world's worst bachelor party

The New York Post's Page Six has the story of the Star Jones-Al Reynolds prenup (he's got to stay with her for at least two years before he can get any of her money in a divorce), but what bothered me were the details of his bachelor party last Friday night at the Time Hotel.
First of all, he had 60 guys there. That's not too bad -- you can have a helluva party with that many people. But they had to get naked and wear bathrobes to sit around and drink. Right away I'd be uncomfortable. I wouldn't want to take off any of my clothes around my closest friends, and I'm talking about people I lived with back in college who saw me in various states of undress on many occasions.
Second, the bars at the party were sponsored by two liquor companies and a beer company, so presumably the be-robed partiers were limited to the brands the sponsors provided. That might be OK, but the sponsors were something called Hypnotiq, Remy (which I think is a liqueur, based on the ads I've seen in the subway) and the beer was described as "awful."
Finally, the topless girls arrived just before midnight, but they were "butt-ugly" according to the Page Six spy. Two of them did put on a simulated lesbian sex show, but some guests had had enough by that time and left. Now, I like girl-on-girl action, but not after drinking crappy beer in a bathrobe for two hours with 59 other similarly-attired guys.
The whole night sounds extremely unpleasant. This guy got married in Manhattan, for Jebus' sake! What happened to the old-fashioned hit-every-bar-and-strip club-on-the-island bachelor party? At least Reynolds could have used his bride's money to rent a nightclub for the evening and let his guests keep their clothes on. This fiasco makes my bachelor party (a Wednesday night visit to a Baltimore-area industrial park strip club) sound like a bender in Vegas with the Maloof brothers.

The Dancing Citroen Transformer

This ad takes me back to the 1980s, when the Transformers ruled daytime cartoons. I'd like to think that at the end of the day, Optimus Prime and Megatron would get all the Autobots and Decepticons together for a big funky Transformers dance party. If that ever happened, we might have seen something that looked like this ad.

"Orange Alert for nerds," indeed.

YourTourNYC.com

I've added a new links section on the right side there for things that aren't blogs or the personal web sites of friends. The first link (and the reason for me to create the new heading) is to a new business that our friend Lynette has just launched: YourTourNYC.com. We've known Lynette since we first moved to New York five years ago; we met her through a mutual friend who worked with Liz back when we lived in Washington, DC. Lynette is now running a personalized New York City tour service for Japanese tourists. With her background in Japanese and business and her experiences studying and working in Japan, Lynette is uniquely qualified to assist Japanese tourists and help them make the most of a visit to New York. I wish her the best of luck with her new endeavor.

Sylvester Croom and Mississippi State football

Neely Tucker, a Starkville, MS, native, and graduate of Mississippi State, writes about Coach Croom and the MSU football program in this article published today. It's more favorable toward the university and the football program than some of the other articles written about State's hiring of Croom last year. For those who know a little about Starkville (or attended my wedding there in 1998), the article mentions the breakfast crowd at the Starkville Cafe, one of my favorite restaurants and a must-visit every time we see my wife's family. We're going to Starkville later this month for a pre-Thanksgiving vacation and we've got tickets to the State-Arkansas game that weekend. I can't wait to sit in the stands at a big-time college football game, wearing my MSU gear and maybe even clanging a cowbell if I can smuggle one in. And don't forget the stadium cuisine: chicken-on-a-stick. Mmm, that's good eatin'.

Star Wars Episode III teaser trailer is online

You can download your own copy here via a variety of links. The quickest links are probably the Bittorrent ones -- my copy downloaded in about two minutes (though at less than 9 MB it's a quick download any way you get it). If you haven't tried Bittorrent yet, give it a go. It's a P2P download method, but instead of your PC just downloading the file from others, you also upload the file as you download it. It's hard to explain, but it usually means quicker downloads for me than with traditional P2P apps (Kazaa, Gnutella, etc.)

About the trailer itself: It's 90 seconds long. The first half is the late Sir Alec Guinness narrating footage from Episodes I, II, and IV, then it delivers the good stuff: shots (and voice) of Darth Vader, Yoda, Mace Windu, a space battle, Padme and Anakin, and the climactic lightsaber duel between Anakin and Obi-Wan. It's better than the early teasers for Episode II (quick snapshots with Vader breathing audio), but it doesn't reveal much of anything about the story. Which is the general idea, I suppose: get the fans excited, give them a little eye candy, and remind everyone else that this franchise has one more installment on the way. I'm trying to stay positive about this movie, even though the last two were disappointing. Episode III could be the one that redeems the prequel trilogy, or it could put the last nail in the Star Wars coffin. Either way, I can't wait to see it.

Four more years...

I guess we all should have known after last time that early exit polls are to be taken with an exceedingly large grain of salt. Despite what I said yesterday, I had a hard time containing my optimism. Unfortunately, Kerry wasn't able to pull out a win for the Democrats, and by winning 51% of the nationwide popular vote, Bush will be able to claim a mandate for just about anything he wants to do. With the gains the GOP made in the House and Senate, it will be even easier for them to push their legislative agenda. Still, I found a few hopeful signs in Robert Kaiser's chat this morning on the Washington Post web site. While the Democrats are essentially leaderless at this point (Hillary freakin' Clinton is the early front-runner for 2008!) and need to determine how to win elections in an increasingly Republican nation, the GOP doesn't have an heir apparent either. Even Jeb Bush will need the help of a successful 2nd term for his brother. And while I'm wondering if the Democrats have any relevance in American society anymore, Kaiser points out that in 1964, Republicans were doing similar soul-searching in the wake of a landslide Johnson victory over Goldwater and Democratic gains in Congress and governorships. Four years later Nixon took the White House. It's not much, but it's a start.

I keep reminding myself that twenty years ago I thought that Reagan's reelection meant the end of liberal policies everywhere and a nuclear war with the USSR. I was wrong about a war, and in 1986 the Democrats took back control of the Senate. Many, many things are possible between now and the next election. I'm not happy about these results, but I'm not moving to Canada either. I still have a wonderful wife and family, three cats who don't give a damn who runs the country as long as they have food in their bowls, a great job and a good life in the big city. I don't see any of that changing as a direct result of Bush's win.

Early exit poll results

If you haven't voted yet, you should probably not visit Wonkette until later tonight. She's putting up exit poll results as she gets them from her secret sources. I'm trying not to put much stock in these numbers yet, as it's early, no polls have closed yet, and we all remember how off the exit polls were four years ago.

In his chat today, Gene Weingarten pointed out how amazing it was that polling place lines were so long and no one was complaining. Even the woman in front of me who was upset at having to wait twice (and let the poll worker have it) seemed in decent spirits despite the delay.

For Liz: I am having a busy day at work, but when there's interesting news, I have to post. That's what good bloggers do. And like Passover, today is not like other days.

Here's yet another reason to vote

I'll just post the link: My Father's Vision (washingtonpost.com)

I fulfilled my civic duty

I chose, so I didn't lose. I voted, and thus did not die. I rocked the vote.

I had to wait about an hour to vote this morning at the school around the corner from my apartment. There were about six precincts crowded into one small cafeteria, and for some reason, mine had to work differently from the others. Every other time I've voted in New York, you wait in line to sign in, then you go directly to the booth and vote. But my precinct had one line for signing in and another line for actual voting. Of course, it was so crowded I got in the wrong line first and had to wait again after I'd signed in. And I didnt't even get a sticker that said "I Voted!" I had to skip my regular Tuesday morning workout, but I felt good anyway for having cast my vote. And on the way out, I saw Samantha Bee from The Daily Show with a camera crew. I smiled and made eye contact with her, and she smiled back. There's my celebrity sighting for the day.

It's the big day

All the campaigning is over. No more speeches, at least until someone concedes defeat (and hopefully that will happen on Tuesday night). The talking heads will keep quiet for a few hours. We go to the polls on Tuesday to pick a president. Unfortunately the options aren't much better than South Park's choice last week between a giant douche and a turd sandwich (I'd take the giant douche -- the sandwich would really reek after a few hours). But I've made my choice, and early tomorrow morning I'll go to the polls and make it official. I keep reminding myself that either way this election goes, it's not the end of the world. We'll do it again in four years. And four years after that. And again and again.

If you're registered to vote, please do. Even if you're voting for the other guy.

Al Goldstein is really, really screwed these days

Those of you who don't live in NY or read porn mags might not know who Al Goldstein is, so I'll explain. He used to publish Screw magazine and host a weekly cable access show in NYC, Midnight Blue. He appeared on Late Night with Conan O'Brien and The Daily Show, and probably showed up elsewhere during his years on top. Well, now he's destitute and living in a homeless shelter. Today's Page Six has the latest details on Al's plight. I sort of feel bad for the guy, though it sounds like he brought his troubles on himself.

I'm writing about this story because Al's son, Jordan, is mentioned in the Page Six article. Although I don't know him, I went to college with him at Georgetown. He was the valedictorian of my graduating class. After Liz and I moved to NY and "discovered" Al Goldstein, one of our Georgetown friends and fellow New Yorkers pointed out that Al was Jordan's father. I cannot imagine what it must have been like to grow up with Al Goldstein as a father. And I'm not just saying that: it's really beyond my comprehension. I can more easily picture what it's like to have a famous actor or the President as your dad than I can think about living in a house with a giant middle finger in the backyard and porn stars hanging around all the time.

Richard Cohen: Hold Bush Accountable

Once again, I'm going political in this blog. Richard Cohen writes a scathing editorial in Thursday's Washington Post on why George W. Bush has to go. I still cannot believe that a Republican House impeached Bill Clinton in 1998 over a sex scandal, while Bush continues to ignore mounting evidence that the war in Iraq was and still is a mismanaged mistake. Cohen's mad as hell about these things too, and he's not going to take it any more. Maybe if Bush gets a second term, then he'll get impeached for his "high crimes and misdemeanors" against the republic. Wait, no, that won't happen because he, unlike Clinton, has a majority in Congress.

By the way, Cohen cites one of the poll results in this campaign that just blows my mind:

My peripatetic colleague Dana Milbank recently reported on a poll showing that 72 percent of Bush's supporters believe Iraq did in fact possess weapons of mass destruction and that 75 percent believed Hussein gave al Qaeda "substantial support." These beliefs are false, in contradiction of the facts, and even Bush, when pressed, has admitted that. But these beliefs did not arise out of nowhere. They are a direct consequence of the administration's repeated lies -- lies of commission, such as Cheney's statements, and lies of omission, the appalling failure to correct wrongly held views.

The people who hold these beliefs are all going to the polls Tuesday to vote for a man who has repeatedly lied and misled them. Unbe-freaking-lievable.

The Boston Red Sox win the World Series

I'm not much of a baseball fan, and I'm certainly not a Red Sox fan, but I'm just a little giddy after seeing Boston win its first championship since 1918. Even Liz, who doesn't care about either team, had to stay up to see how the game ended. I can't wait to see what The Sports Guy has to say in his column tomorrow, assuming he's coherent enough to write one. Now Chicago defines baseball futility: the White Sox haven't won a World Series since 1917, and the Cubs last won one in 1908. Maybe the best thing about this win for the Red Sox is that they'll hoist their championship banner at next year's home opener in front of the New York Yankees. How's that for rubbing it in their faces?

Wedding photos are up

I keep forgetting to mention this: I posted our pictures from James & Jess' wedding. Check the photos link over there on the right side. There are two galleries for your enjoyment, and you can download any/all of the photos for your own nefarious purposes.

Child's Play is back

Last year, Tycho and Gabe over at Penny Arcade ran a successful charity drive, called Child's Play, to purchase toys for a children's hospital in Seattle. The idea was that they were tired of the media portraying gamers as freaks, social misfits, and homicidal maniacs, and wanted to do something to show that gamers have feelings too. So they set up a charity to buy toys and gifts for sick kids at the hospital for the holidays. The response was phenomenal. They've brought back the charity again this year, only the drive has expanded to five hospitals around the country. They set up Amazon Wish Lists for each hospital with all sorts of toys, video games, and books. Your purchase goes straight to the hospital and will get there in time for Christmas if you order by December 20. I think this is an excellent way to help out kids who would otherwise have a really sad holiday stuck in the hospital. So please check out the charity's web site and see if you can find a gift that will help a kid feel better this Christmas.

Something for the Stephenson fans

Neal Stephenson answers Slashdot readers' questions in this interview posted today. (For those unfamiliar with the Slashdot interview model, the initial notice of the interview gets posted as a regular Slashdot story, and readers post their proposed questions as responses to the notice. The most highly moderated questions are then sent to the interview subject, who writes back, and the results are what you can read above.) As usual, Stephenson is funny, thoughtful, and long-winded. The Gibson question is the comedic highlight. But the entire thing is worth reading.

By the way, I've started reading The System of the World but I'm only a few pages into it so far. I haven't been carting it back and forth to work to read on the subway, so that's hindering my progress. But I have some large blocks of time available this weekend to devote to it.

The New York Times Magazine on Bush: Without a Doubt

Two political posts in two days, both from yesterday's NY Times. Today's link is to Ron Suskind's article in the Times Magazine about President Bush's faith and how it has shaped and directed his presidency. It's an enlightening and at times frightening look at how Bush lets his religious beliefs guide him, to the exclusion of any voices of dissent. Read this article and everything you've been hearing from the Bush administration about the war in Iraq and the "war on terrorism" will make perfect sense. Bush can't see that we're losing in Iraq because he truly believes that we're winning. He sees and hears what he wants to see and hear. And that really scares me when I think about what could happen in a second term for Bush.

The New York Times endorses John Kerry

I don't talk much about politics in this blog, but I like all of the reasons the New York Times editorial board uses in their endorsement of John Kerry for President. Mostly, it's a list of reasons why George W. Bush should not be elected than why Kerry should be. But a sitting President has to run on his record, and Bush's record is the best example of why he should not get a second term. I don't think that anyone reading this blog will be surprised that I'm voting for Kerry next month, but if you're still thinking about your choice, or you're voting for Bush, maybe this endorsement will help you make up your mind.

The Times also endorses Chuck Schumer in the race for U.S. Senate, but that was really a no-brainer. Considering it's the NY Times, the Kerry endorsement is no surprise either, but I like how they make their points in both cases.

Amazon reviewers on "Family Circus"

Courtesy of Gene Weingarten's chat today: Amazon customer reviews of Bil Keane's "Family Circus" books. Start with What Does This Say? and then search for "family circus" if you want to read others. James, if you happen to see this, I think you'll like the reference to Sendero Luminosa. I know I got a special kick out of it.

Florida weekend - The Big Day - Sunday

I had the important job on Sunday morning of calling James to make sure he was up and ready to check out of his hotel room. Even though I set two alarms to insure I woke up on time, I kept waking up early and dreaming about having to wake up my friends for important events. When I called James, he was not only awake, but showered, packed, and sounding chipper.

The groomsmen, fathers of the bride and groom, and the hupah holders met at the hotel Perkins promptly at 9, which might be the first time that "five guys from a house" showed up on time for an event. Due to the dearth of decent restaurants in the immediate area of the hotel, we had to pretend we didn't see three of our significant others as they came into the same restaurant for breakfast about halfway through our meal. This time, I had the ham and egg skillet, with "cheesy alfredo sauce." The only way it would have been less kosher is if it had come with bacon-wrapped shrimp.

We dressed at the hotel and took a few pictures in the lobby before departing for the synagogue. The next few hours were full of the usual craziness before a wedding: keeping the bride and groom away from each other, taking pictures with family, figuring out how we were processing and recessing (since we never actually rehearsed the ceremony). As a Jew, and one of James' friends, I had the honor of signing both the marriage certificate and the ketubah, and it gave me great joy to know that I could be a part of the official documentation of their marriage. (This sounds dumb, but I really was touched to have this honor. He has other Jewish friends he could have asked to do this for him.) I also got to supply some of the music for the ceremony -- on CD, not live, but it counts. The ceremony itself went off without a hitch. There was a good bit of levity to the proceedings, as the rabbi cracked a few jokes and people had to be prompted for handshakes and handoffs. But the room got a little dusty when James and Jess read their own vows to each other. And we all had a good time rehearsing a shout of "mazel tov!" for the ritual breaking of the glass. My friend Rich, a fellow groomsman, pointed out that the shout was the only thing we rehearsed in the entire ceremony. I especially enjoyed the recessional music: "Linus and Lucy," also known as the "Peanuts" cartoon music. Then there were more pictures, and more visiting, and reviews of the ceremony, and then we got to eat.

The reception was in the synagogue's social hall. The highlight of the meal was the sushi appetizers, though all the food was good. I kept checking my watch (both the new pocketwatch James gave me and the other groomsmen as a gift and the clock on my cellphone), since we had to leave early to catch our flight home. But we got to spend plenty of time with our friends, along with the occasional few minutes to chat with the bride and groom. And even with our time constraints we got to see all the key wedding elements: the dancing, the cutting of the cake, and even the Jewish custom of hoisting the groom on a chair while everyone dances around. We wanted to do the same with Jess, but she begged off with an old injury that we might have inadvertently aggravated. We put off our departure as long as we dared, but eventually it was time to go. A quick change in the mens' room later, and we were all set for the flight home. We said our goodbyes to old and new friends and headed for the airport.

I had timed things just right, as we were able to refuel and drop off the car, check our bags, clear security, and get to our gate with about ten minutes to spare before boarding. The idea had been that we didn't want to spend time waiting at the gate instead of at the reception, and it worked out well. The flight back was OK, but I was disappointed with the video selection this time. While ESPN was one of the available channels, it wasn't working, probably because of some stupid NFL-Dish Network rule about showing the Sunday night game to cheap travelers. There wasn't anything else worth watching, and even the trivia game bored me since I'd seen all the questions two days before. I listened to my MP3 player for a few hours and relaxed. We landed early, but the airline made up for the time we gained by making us wait about 20 minutes for our luggage. Despite the late hour (10:30 PM) there was no cab line, and our driver even did us a favor by taking the Queensborough Bridge and avoiding the toll bridges further north, saving us a few bucks. (I'll have to remember that.) So it was a quick weekend trip, but a most worthwhile one. I'm glad we were able to be a part of James and Jess' celebration, and I hope they have many happy years together. They certainly got off to a good start.

Florida weekend - Saturday

We got up late on Saturday morning and went to look for breakfast/brunch food. Our hotel was in Cape Coral, across the river from Fort Myers, and there was a Perkins restaurant in the parking lot next to the hotel. But I was supposed to eat breakfast at that Perkins on Sunday morning with the other groomsmen, so we tried to find someplace else. The hotel guidebook listed a decent-sounding restaurant just down the street from the hotel, but when we drove around we couldn't find it. Apparently the guidebook was out of date, as the restaurant appeared to be under new management, a new name, and not open for breakfast. So we ended up back at Perkins after all. I had buttermilk pancakes and sausage, and Liz had biscuits & gravy, hash browns, bacon and eggs (and she gave me her eggs). The best thing was that they brought an entire pot of coffee for me, so I did my best to drink most of it.

We had a few more hours to kill before the non-rehearsal dinner at 4:30 (we got the early bird special!) so we explored Cape Coral by car. That took about half an hour and proved to be exceedingly dull. We saw many model homes, houses under construction, and strip malls, but nothing worth stopping the car for. Our backup boredom-relief plan was to go shopping at the Bell Tower complex across the highway from the restaurant in Fort Myers, so we went over there much earlier than we'd planned. As usually happens, Liz found many things she could buy, but there wasn't much for guys to look at. She did find a few bargains, and we tried out the world's best massage chair at Brookstone (only $3500, but it talks to you! And modifies its massage for your body!).

The non-rehearsal dinner was at Carrabbas, an Italian restaurant. The food was far superior to what the Olive Garden had to offer. We had fried mozzarella, chicken & cheese cannelloni, and creme brulee, and of course the scintillating conversation and general mayhem that characterizes any gathering of the "five guys from a house" group and their families. Maybe it was his past life as a waiter and bartender, or that it was his party, but James was working the room, making sure everyone enjoyed the food and the hospitality.

After dinner we went back to the hotel and changed clothes for the next activity: roller skating. OK, I didn't change clothes, since I wasn't going to skate, but Liz did. The roller rink was, like Liz expected, a giant warehouse-like building behind the strip malls and plazas of US 41 (the Tamiami highway, as it's the old route between Tampa and Miami). The place looked and sounded like it hadn't changed in twenty years. All of the music was pre-1992, and there were a few people out on the floor who looked and skated like they lived at the roller rink. There were also many more kids skating than I expected, including a number of teenagers that I would have thought had better things to do on a Saturday night. While Liz, James, Jess, and most other members of the wedding party skated and sweated the night away, I hung out in the back with the other wheeled footwear-disinclined. I hadn't seen some of these friends in several years, so I was glad to have time to catch up with them and make fun of the skating crowd with them. We spent about two hours skating and visiting before the rink started to close up. Most people went home at that point, reminding me once again that we're old folks now. But there were a few hardy souls, Liz and I among them, not willing to pack it in at 10:30 PM. So we went to a different Perkins for dessert (or in this case, more dessert and much coffee). The ice cream sundae Liz and I shared was delicious, but by 11:30 we were ready to collapse ourselves. (Where did my energy go? I slept late, didn't exert myself on skates, I just did some light shopping. I really am an old fogey.)

Florida weekend - Friday

This past weekend, Liz and I flew to Fort Myers, Florida, for the wedding of two of our college friends, James and Jess. We've known them almost as long as we've known each other, and they've been among our closest friends for many years. So it was with great joy and excitement that we traveled all the way to Florida for the festivities.

We left early Friday morning from JFK, on Song Airlines, which is Delta's low-cost/Southeast US carrier. It's similar to JetBlue, with leather seats and Dish Network in the seatbacks. The channel lineup was better on JetBlue, though I liked the MP3 music selections and the interactive music trivia game that lets you compete against other people on your flight. I won three rounds and had the highest score for the flight.

We got to Fort Myers about 11:30 AM, too early to check into our hotel. So we drove around for a while, locating the synagogue where the wedding was to take place, and getting lost a few times just to get that hassle out of the way. We eventually got a hotel room around 2:30 PM and took a good long nap before Shabbat services that night. This was Liz's first time at a Shabbat service, and she got to see more than she planned. James' parents and grandmother were there as well, and I don't think they'd ever seen a Shabbat service either. Not only was it the usual Friday night service, but it was also Simchat Torah, the annual celebration of reaching the end of the Torah and starting over at the beginning. It was also the night before a young man's bar mitzvah, and he performed about one third of the entire service. Before the service began, the rabbi called James and Jess to the bimah and gave them a blessing. For the Simchat Torah service, the rabbi and cantor took all the Torahs out of the ark and the congregation paraded around the sanctuary with them, accompanied by singing and dancing. Then the rabbi called on a member of the congregation to read from the Torah -- the last few verses of Deuteronomy and the first few verses of Genesis. I hadn't been to a Simchat Torah service in at least fifteen years, and the songs and prayers brought back warm memories of my childhood.

After the service, there was an oneg with cookies, brownies, and ice cream sundaes. Since we hadn't had dinner, we quickly went into sugar shock. I think I had three brownies and two or three scoops of mint chocolate chip ice cream. James and Jess hadn't eaten much for dinner either, so we went from the synagogue to the Olive Garden for a late supper, along with our friend Renee from New York and Scott, one of Jess' childhood friends. I'd never been to the Olive Garden before, and I was dying to try the "neverending pasta bowl," but since I'd already eaten my fill of sweets, I had a bowl of pasta e fagiole and some fried calamari and zucchini. After all that eating, we went back to our hotel and slept for a good long while.

Questionable "Poetry in Motion"

The MTA uses some ad space in subway cars for a program called "Poetry in Motion," where commuters can read a stanza of poetry in between ads for Dr. Zizmor's skin treatments and schools teaching English as a foreign language. I'd never given much thought to the poems the MTA chose to put up there, until I noticed that the latest selection was the first stanza of William Butler Yeats "The Second Coming." The subway sign reads:

TURNING and turning in the widening gyre
The falcon cannot hear the falconer;
Things fall apart; the centre cannot hold;
Mere anarchy is loosed upon the world,
The blood-dimmed tide is loosed, and everywhere
The ceremony of innocence is drowned;
The best lack all conviction, while the worst
Are full of passionate intensity.

Maybe it's just me, but that seems a little grim for a subway ride. I'm not one who likes to read a 9/11 subtext into everything, but there are some things here that remind me of that day, and of the religious fanatics who continue to plot against Americans. I get the point, MTA: you're trying to give us something more enriching than ads while we're trapped in your steel tubes. But I just want to get to work. I don't want to be scared on my way there. Next month, can you try to find something more uplifting?

Dr. Phil and the man who would be President

If you liked last week's entry when Dr. Phil and his wife "interviewed" President and Mrs. Bush, then you'll love this week's interview with the Kerrys. Lisa de Moraes watched so we don't have to. I especially liked that Dr. Phil got himself in trouble with his wife, then spent the interview trying to dig his way out of the hole. I honestly used to enjoy Dr. Phil when he was only on the air once in a while, but now that he's on constantly and always selling something I wish he'd just go away.

From The Onion: Personal Relationship With God Also Public Relationship With God

The Onion isn't ha-ha funny anymore, and this article about one man's proselytizing didn't make me laugh. But it did remind me of the people who preach on the subway, telling a group of trapped commuters that they're all going to hell. (Ride in a non-air-conditioned subway car in the middle of the summer, and you'll feel like you're already there.) I don't like the panhandlers, the kids selling M&Ms for their "youth basketball team," (I really believe that one) or the people peddling batteries and trinkets, but at least they keep moving through the train so they don't bother me for too long. But the religious nuts who read from the Bible tend to stay in one car, in one place, for the entire ride. And even with headphones on, they are exceedingly annoying. Maybe this article, even tongue-in-cheek, sheds some light on their thought processes. If not, I don't want to know what they're really thinking. How thin is the line between the voice in your head telling you to preach to the nonbelievers and the same voice telling you to kill them all?

seen on Sunday at Union Square...

...a guy wearing my favorite T-shirt that can be purchased at any number of eclectic shops in Greenwich Village, bearing this slogan:

FUCK YOU
YOU FUCKING
FUCK

I've always wanted to buy it myself, but I'd never have the guts to wear it. Apparently someone did. If only I'd thought to sneak his picture.